So, prior to the Chicago Marathon, I remember deciding to write how I was feeling, you can read it here. I was in a very different place back then, but my mental health journey is still that, a journey!
This year has been a very strange for everyone and the loss of my mum at the start of the year has made this year just that little bit harder. Grief is a strange thing and the first year is an emotional rollercoaster. Being totally honest I’m not sure if I am on the anticipated scary up, or crashing down at the moment.
My emotions feel very mixed at the moment. I can feel upbeat, raring to go, looking forward to the marathon one moment. Then by the end of the day, I feel underprepared, worried and feeling, why am I doing this? Why are our brains so hard to control. Relax for just a short time and the negativity takes over.
Usually, at this time, you would reflect on all your training, but I haven’t got 16 weeks of specific training behind me. That’s ok because this run isn’t about time. There are no sweeper trucks to pick me up, there are no supporters to see me when I walk, people are not having to wait around all day for me. I am not going for a PB, I am not even attempting to run it all!
The Race Plan
This run is all about enjoying it and being lucky enough to share it with friends. I feel so privileged to be able to be with my awesome friend Sarah when she completes her first marathon. We have trained by completing 4-minute walks, 4 miles run X repeat. I am pretty sure that the walk breaks will increase towards to end, but that’s ok. We are just needing to complete 26.2 miles.
Ideally, I will be uploading stories to Instagram, so make sure you are following me if you want to share the fun and pain!. I am sure we will take lots of silly photos and just enjoy the whole experience.
Some of the feelings pre-marathon are still the same (Maranoia still happens!) but some are very different. Trying to plan a run to finish at the exact point you told your family to be, is interesting. Having to think about carrying all drinks and fuel, plus battery power for the phone is challenging. The weather doesn’t look like it’s going to be particularly nice to us either. I think it is going to be strange to finish and then not get a medal to parade around in!
One of the things I love the most about races – marathons, in particular, is the Expo. Collecting your number, finally meeting people that you have been speaking to online, taking part in all the competitions and fun photo opportunities. Just the general buzz and excitement that the expo brings. I really can’t wait until we get back to those times again. You can read about my best ever Expo here.
There is an app that you can follow us on, find it here. Also, I have set up a fundraising page to raise money for Motor Neurone Disease Association and British Heart Foundation so if you are feeling generous I’d love a donation.
Good Luck to everyone else who is running it, run strong, smile and enjoy the journey!