I had grand plans for writing this blog post on the flight to Chicago, but I couldn’t get the WIFI connection to work, so I watched TWO chic flicks instead! Instead, it is now 4:51 am and I am propped up in my bed overlooking the river in Chicago – pretty impressive view!
I am 2 days away from starting the Chicago Marathon and I have so many mixed emotions. After completing the New York Marathon back in 2017, I decided that I wanted to be a six-star finisher. (When you complete all the World Marathon Majors events) I LOVED the New York City Marathon SO much. It was all my dreams coming true. It was 4 days before my 40th Birthday, my work was generous enough to give me the time off and I was going to New York with my husband. I had always wanted to go to New York and it was everything I had hoped for. Constantly feeling like I was in a movie scene! (I just wished it had been longer!)
With my six-star dream planted in the back of my head, I entered both the Berlin and Tokyo
One of the reasons for wanting to write this on the plane as it was mental health awareness day and this year has been one of the toughest of my life so far! Back in March of this year, I felt like I broke. I have always found teaching tough, but somehow managed to just keep going and I was always the person that thought ‘zip up your man suit‘ when times were getting tough. But for some reason, I couldn’t. I could feel everything building up, yet one day a minor incident; where I felt like a work colleague had let me down, sent me over the edge. I had been having dark and negative thoughts for a while, but now I felt like it was out of control. I was signed off work and never returned to that workplace again.
Why I am telling you all
Well, that hasn’t quite been the reality. N
So, I have trained harder than I ever had before, but I’m really not sure how Sunday will go. I have put lots of pressure on myself to go for a PB and a pretty big one at that, but mentally I’m not sure I am capable of that. It also has put unnecessary pressure on myself which I don’t need. I have struggled to appreciate this trip as much I should.
Therefore, I need to remember that I am getting to experience something so amazing. I am in an amazing city, spending time with my mum, and hopefully able to run (walk if I need) 26.2 miles. Whatever happens on Sunday, I AM going to
It’s ok not to be ok!